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WELCOME

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I would like to welcome you all  to my blog.I guess we all can never know how far we can go unless we  decide to embrack on the journey.I would like to thank you for joining me on this journey  of sharing and empowering each other and pray that it will be fulfilling to me and you as well. August is always my peak month for very many reasons and am  greatly humbled  that as i bid farewell to  26 and wait on making 27  this month ,among all gifts 26 as left me with is the  realization of this calling.

kind regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba.

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Say no to “man snatching claims”

Who taught women that it is morally allowed to fight for men?Apart of me dies every time I hear these “man snatching claims” Oh lord have mercy. Most of the recent trending videos are of women claiming their “stolen husbands,fiancees,boyfriends baby daddies men “. For the first time i ask a question i have heard several people ask and as a feminist this is hard for me but WHAT IS WRONG WITH WOMEN?

Most of these men if not all make the decision to marry a woman when they are in their rightful sense of mind.I have not heard of any being reported to have amnesia so this whole business of women going on national TV to remind him of his children should stop.Women stop misrepresenting our gender. Why would you want to claim a man who has left behind everything you have worked so hard to accomplish ?Today you are going to fight your co-wife Eva(allow me to laugh because am going to be killed for this) and he will marry Amina . This is where i say choose your battles wisely sister .Some battles will only weigh you down.

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We keep on directing our anger and hate in the wrong direction.I keep on wanting to understand this part, you hate and curse the women he sleeps with but you keep on loving and forgiving him but HOW? We are willing to tear ourselves apart inorder to keep our “trophy husbands” only for them to give us more work by moving to the next victim and leaving us looking like fools but WHY? Love isn’t an obsession and dnt allow the world to convince you otherwise .

Who is giving women the audacity to speak on behalf of men that are above 18 years? Watching women explaining their spouses “relationships” with other women leaves me speechless. So there was this woman breaking down the spouses’s relationship “Oh with lillian that was a situationship (but meanwhile this guy had a kukyla at lillian’s home ) with Pamela that was ………(i dnt remember but she had interesting terms for each woman)”What left me speechless she went on and on explaining about the five women that are in the picture and it didn’t even hit her mind that “her man” (allow me to laugh after this term) had a problem.Men are rarely held accountable for their actions but WHY? As a women its okay if you are asked about your husbands extra marital relationships to say “No comment” because darling that isn’t your space so dnt embarrass yourself.

When a woman comes claiming that your man is the father to her children Please dnt sweat the small things give your husband time even if not immediately to be the one to give the response.This business of women supporting men not to stand up to their responsibility isn’t cool at all .Your space is to find out whether you want to help him or not,whether you want to continue with him or not ?

One of the schools am so proud to associate myself with had this culture, In-case any boy beat up a girl they would wait for him in the dormitory and beat him up as well as shame him.It about time we start beating up women who fight for men or if we find them fighting we lock them up so that they can kill themselves and our daughters will have real role models to look up to.Our society has come a long way in the fight to make sure that women have the equal standing in society but i dnt think they had this in mind.That some group of women will still look at failure of their marriage as a death sentence and will cling on men like their only sense of identity.

Today women are identified by so many things besides their marital status.Why then dnt some women believe in the abundance of the universe?Women are big in business and everything else at least by the time your marriage fails you will have enough to raise your children.You fight your man’s women and then you fight for child support.PLEASE

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We have seen divorced women finding love again even love greater than the one that left .Times have changed so should women even before we blame the society older women are getting married and having children yet we still hold on our biological clock as a justification for our desperate acts .Women have been taught that they are wired for struggle so they think everything should be one.Take a chill pill love isn’t one of those things.Yes as women we are fixers but this didn’t mean we are meant to fix broken men that aren’t willing to fix themselves.Yes adulthood means unlearning very many things we were taught as children .

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This is where the person who opened my mind to putting my opinion in digital ink regrets his acts of kindness but well i proudly dare to be different and it is gradually becoming my identity

Blessed new month

Kinds Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Social Media Liberty

I don’t even know whether I should say write this with my eyes closed to show how unfortunate it is that we are still losing women during childbirth. It is one of those things that speaks volumes about our country and the kind of leadership it has(I will leave it at that because if I had to move in that direction  i would be required to write a book). In Islam we believe in  fate even when we go all out planning for our future, God has rendered us powerless unless he wills. Foolish is when a group of people on social media come together and convince themselves that pregnancy Photo-shoots are the reason why most women are loosing their lives during childbirth. Disclaimer I believe in evil eyes but some people are taking it way over board.When God blesses you with something beautiful in your life He is manifesting his greatness . One of the way to show gratitude is to  enjoy God’s blessing to you .How you choose to enjoy it is somewhat your business .

At 28 I still think I will be one of those people that will go in hiding during my pregnancy I don’t think I will be very comfortable growing big with the whole world watching but I can’t go all out trying to make other women feel bad for something they draw a lot of pride in.Times have changed but some people are still stuck in the past. If our parents used to hide their pregnancy because they wanted to protect their babies from envious eyes that was then and this is now otherwise God would have bought us to the world in the 50s but we are 80s 90s babies and treat our blessings differently. We love to celebrate our baby bumps, we love to show them off ,upload our statutes when we are going for antenatal .Thats our world and we enjoy it that way

I have my own reservation about pregnancy photo-shoots .Personally i can’t expose my tummy with or without a baby i guess am just a very conservative person when it comes to my body.My best friend is expecting  her second born inshallah come November or early October but I was with  her  for her first antenatal seeing our little angel (mashallah) made me feel all sorts of  different so I just imagine having to withhold that within .

These group of people also believe that exposing your relationship on social media ruins it am still having sleepless nights trying to figure out this one. I remember when I had just joined Facebook I was in my first relationship, uploading couple pics was unheard of and turned out to be one of the things that made my relationship very popular at university  . The good news is the relationship failed but uploading our pictures on social media had nothing to do with why it failed, we enjoyed it while it lasted and it was more beautiful in reality than it was in the pictures .Your social media life is part of your life and always feel free to share what you feel is appropriate and let no one make you feel guilty about it because your blessing have a name on it nothing will ruin what is meant to be yours.

Its okay to keep you life private and its okay to decide as a couple to keep your love life out of the limelight but please please dnt feel the need to make the same decision for other people. Social media only exposes FAKE people.If you ever find your self being claimed by more than one woman on social media and then you come up with “social media destroys relationship” please that’s your bad not social media. Expose your man babe if there is a woman who is claiming him that’s cool its better to know what you are getting yourself into other than just diving  right in without any know.

Am one of those people that is for public affection although the moderated kind when I love someone I go all out and make the world know that am blessed.Nothing will ever protect you from loss not even keeping your life private will. We know that things aren’t as perfect as they appear , we know that couples struggle and stumble but we still enjoy being apart of their light moments as long as  they are willing to invite us in ,so Darlings don’t ruin that for us .Some of us enjoy watching  people’s vacations, their  family ,their work, Cinderella weddings ,the engagement parties, the baby showers ,the pregnancy photo-shoots  although it may  cause a little bit of envy there will be the verrry few unknown social media viewers who will say a pray that God continues to shower you with more blessings  .

Well i heard to get that one off my chest otherwise today marks the end of Ramadthan  its unfortunate that all good things come to an end but all i can say Thank you God for making me part of this Ramadthan i pray that you accept my acts of worship and you continue enabling me to live my life in a way that will honor  you.

EIDMUBARAK

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Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

 

Kamwokya Boy

Am clearly not an events person but I have got this things for themes. The first time I heard of the Kabaka birthday run it just cut deep, don’t get it twisted you can never get me out of bed on a sunday morning inviting me for a marathon clearly not my kinda thing but I have will always have this love for the Kabaka I don’t even think I care whether the money collected is directed to the right cause or it is given to the king’s subject to feast, for me any excuse to celebrate him I will be honored to be apart of it. Kampala is the place to be, there is always an event for everyone, now some day time robbers some Ugandan genius came up with the theme cake and ice cream festival. The organizers of the festival would effortlessly get 5 4 Half star (I reserve my other half for one minor detail they deliberately fooled us about) they knew who their target market group was and they did just that .Good music , particularly because for the first time I refer to good music when am not referring to the band or country but to DJs mixing it right( the things we keep on discovering about ourselves ),good cowards, and most importantly alot of ice cream and cake ,10:00pm end of event for the first time an event ended and my feet was still moving to the beat now this was very impressive .

The event made mother’s day special ,so much love,laughter,heart so full and so much to take back home. Never knew I would pick so much reality from kids. Between 1pm to 5 pm it was about the kids dancing and doing their thing, when I saw these kids up there on the stage (please mark non of this kids where prepared for these performances) my eyes moved from small to big widest and I must have lost my voice on sunday. More often than not I wanted to meet these kids parents because their moves told gazillion truths. At a point I also dropped a tear (Upto now am still trying to explain this to myself)

The babies danced in groups and the size would keep on reducing because they kept on being called off stage until we had these three boys that had to battle to win.Two were clearly uptown boys even their moves weren’t from “our very own artists”one was shabby and quite adorable and from Agan the other I didn’t quite get the school,my favorite was the third one who was from Kamwokya wearing an oversized shirt which I wouldn’t tell whether it was just dirty or old and a green short .By the look of things I think he had begged his way into the festival because he didn’t have a wristband to show that he had paid. The Good news was he made it on stage and the rest was history . The first time I saw him I didn’t even think he would dance and since he had an oversized shirt I almost didn’t give him a chance thankfully I wasn’t the MC ,I was am only among the millions in the audience. To my dis may the Kamwokya boy’s dance moves took the audience go to places .Me and a thousand others fell in love with this boy’s moves and for a moment we forgot about the other two.

What did we did we expected?its public knowledge that the boys from the ghetto always get their moves right .It was such a relief to know that the Kamwokya boy goes to school, he shared with us the name of his school but I cant remember the name though . The audience was wowed and people flocked the stage to tip the baby boy and he successfully got away with 150000 something UGX .While they were still counting his money on stage He kept on calling the MC softly “Uncle uncle uncle”” let me thank the people ”And when the MC handed him the microphone He knelt down and thanked the audiences and prayed to the almighty to continue to blessing the audience in Luganda. That continued to cut deeper .The winners were first given pizza and when the Kamwokya boy was handed pizza he said “I don’t eat pizza I eat chips and chicken” this almost killed people in the audience. The MC asked him”We are going to give you a lot of ice cream and cake what are you going to do with so much cake and ice cream? He continued to ask “wont it get spoil t ?”The boy replied with excitement “i will eat it with my brothers and sisters.” The MC continued but “i can talk to the people in the audience to solicit a fridge for you”The Kamokya boy replied “Oh noooooooo they have already done aloooooot for me and so grateful already .

Such is life at a point we end up at the same jobs,same stage,battling for the same opportunity and it doesn’t matter what your past was or what route you used to get there. The only role your past has in your future is what it molded you to became. The things that cut deep are the things that show that we are humble, compassionate,kind and well raised and they have nothing to do with how much money we have,the jobs that we do and the cars we drive.We tell a lot of stories through our actions, make sure your story is a good one. You don’t have to have it all for your heart to be full we should thrive to be at peace with what we have and live our life like the privilege it is. Being at peace and content with who you are will always and forever be an attractive trait so Live through your failures,mistakes,your bads today because it will be your story tomorrow. Confidence is an attire always wear it and accessorize it with courage the Kamwokya boy had an option of admiring others from afar but he braved his way to the stage (God knows how much i love confident people )

Away from the kamwokya. Ramadthan is at the door and because it is special I pray to the almighty to bless me with the honor of making this my best Ramadthan ever inshallah.

Ramadthan Kareem

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Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Rejection

Not every story ends good but how we make peace with that fact defines us a great deal. Recently there has been this social media scandal of a bitter ex boyfriend making it his business to show the world how bad his ex girlfriend is because she is apparently newly married to another man and her introduction or kukyala was all over . He was ranting about the abortions she had while they were together,to the fact that he introduced her to his family and friends,to I don’t remember what else it was basically a lot of social media noise .This hadn’t caught my attention, not until the ex girlfriend gave him “social media clarity” you know when you read a message directed to you with 55,000 others with your name as the heading now for a moment I felt like this guy needed a cyber hug at least during the time when he was reading this message because it wasn’t kind ,well what can i say he put his leg in the lion’s mouth and expected to be kissed .The message included a list of reasons why she didn’t choose him , she also confessed why she ended the relationship without giving any reason then I wondered how giving him her list of reasons on social media became easier. Anyways scenarios where drama meets drama.

This scenario reminded me of my first ex-boyfriend who had a physio ex girlfriend that did it all from suicidal moves to stalking us I remember asking myself a lot of things about this girl but I kept on thinking may be its because I had never gone through a breakup or probably because I had never been that person who was being left. The good news is I finally got answers or at least I can say I have been left by people who I strongly loved because my heart has this culture where it loves with all it’s components. The pain from heartbreaks is so indescribable that it can dis function every nerve within your body or atleast that what it makes you feel but the truth is heartbreaks have never killed anybody so the good news is you won’t be exceptional. Heartbreaks remind me of a story in the bible where the disciples boat broke down in the middle of their journey and at the thought of the loss of their lives they were all sorts of scared yet had been given head up that no matter what happens they will not drown.

Heartbreaks are work enough trust me when I tell you don’t need extra battles of anger ,chasing someone who clearly has shown you that you aren’t what they are looking for regardless of whether their reasons made sense to you. So humble yourself enough for loss to grow you .Make loss your Ally it has got great lessons for you, quit the kicking and screaming that will make the process more painful. Rejection doesn’t mean in anyway that you are not good enough it only means not all the things that you desire are meant for you otherwise you will keep on chasing the wind only to end up looking a fool. Am a very calculative person and by the time I allow an invite to a battle be sure I will win it but matters of the heart especially when it includes choosing another person that isnt me I let it be and pull my favorite chair offer my self a sit and watch the dust settle because it eventually does . Its natural to feel robbed but it can tend to turn very ugly when you seek revenge take heart. Prayer should be your place to seek refuge trust me when I say it can cure anything .So pray to God to grant you acceptance ,clarity, patience,forgiveness and ease because you will need so much of the mentioned after Rejection .And most importantly let people know that you are adult enough to keep you |” ish” together

On a lighter note its April the month where the best king was born . Awagale Ssabasajja Kabaka

A Blessed month ahead of you all

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kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Press for Progress

Looking through my Facebook new feeds on 8 march reminded me of days like valentine,mothers day, fathers day and many more of that kind and I couldn’t help but think that there is a lot of misconception that surrounds these days. Nothing will ever level up to consistency,you will spoil her for one day with all those well prepared meals,well written posts ,gifts but none of the treats will equate to that one or few things that you do everyday to make her know that you recognize and appreciate her contribution in your life.

I often shut down like am taking notes of some kind whenever am trying to listen and understand(simultaneously) people who think differently from me . When looking for a wife Isa wanted a woman who was educated,had a well paying job,religious and if not moslem one who would be willing to convert to Islam, beautiful ,oh boy the list was endless but never the less he meant Sharon that ticked most of his boxes and he married her. Having a conversation with Isa few months after his wedding he wanted Sharon to quit her job because he believes that working women tend to be very bossy and went on and on about all the things he wanted Sharon to stop, now that she is finally his wife. Honey more than fronting your own selfish interests the world needs you to support the dreams and ambitions of  your spouses.More than celebrating women’s day we need more men who are going to brighten the light for their spouses  because besides  being your wife the world needs the doctor,the engineer in her and above all your children the boys need to know what to look for in a woman and your girls need a role model under their own roof .

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

Whats so different about 8 march that makes it special for a man to fix the meals(and proudly) as opposed to the other days of the year where your boys would make fun of you. During my daily routine work I tend to be very chatty(reasons why will be for another day), so one of the ladies was sharing with me how her responsibility of being a mother,wife,and employee affects her day differently. She wakes at 4am every day to prepare her kids for school ,travel from Seeta to Entebbe for work in the morning and travel back dozing in the Taxi only to reach home at 10pm ,prepare food and juice and sleep at midnight everyday(not forgetting her matrimonial duties i guess). What most of these ladies want in return is to feel appreciated every day. There is always that one thing/few things that you can help with  at home other than being the “big baby”.

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Celebrating fellow women means embracing each other regardless of our differences before you show the world that you celebrate fellow women look at your circle of friends. Is there diversity in character within them?

 

 

 

 

We need more women who are going to be unapologetically themselves without justifying their stories to seek public acceptance.The success,victories,the imperfections,the pain,the joy,the losses they  are all  part of the your journey embrace them all because while doing that you will never have an idea of how many other women you will be inspiring to be themselves  .  To all the women out there i pray that your journey as a woman will continue to be one that will  always  make you feel  fulfilled.To all the men that support women during their struggles honeys you have a special corner in heaven with air conditioners and free WI-FI Access Ameen.And the world will surely return the favor through your daughters.

Happy women’s day(belated)

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Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

 

Soul Sister

I enjoy listening to music although I cant quite define myself as a lover of music. So I dnt follow musicians religiously unless something is really out there. Never the less the death of Radio left me thinking how Loss can be one of those things that can break even the strongest of them all and unfortunately we dnt choose its effect on us. As a person who has two best-friends that mean the world to me I would only imagine what this meant to Weasel. We have all tired establishing relationships with people and its public knowledge that its never a walk in the park whether its with your parents or siblings or spouses name it. Even though am a self reliant person I acknowledge that life is much more easier /fun when you have a person(s) you can share most or every stage with.

So its march already,I cant thank the almighty enough that this month I will get to celebrate the life of my soul sister and companion of all times. I brag (even when I know that its not in my own doing but the almighty only) for having the world’s best image of a sister,friend ,comforter name it. Sometimes when things aren’t going on well I feel like am paying the universe for its generosity of handing her to me. Sometimes I feel like I can only make her feel half of what she makes me feel.

There is a thing about friendship its vows arenot said out loud or there is no exchange of rings to show lifetime commitment but its a partnership that will leave one feeling so fulfilled. Friendship is where someone loves you effortlessly ,where mistakes are shared without the fear of being judged , where victories are shared with no intention of creating competition or envy,where compassion always takes place. Friendship only takes place were the feeling is mutual and the effort is equal. I might have just described something many haven’t witnessed but it does exist in very very very few people and when you find it celebrate it without fear of what may go wrong because it may come and stay forever.Love isnt supposed to be shown on someones death bed or after a life threatening situation because then it would really be very hypocritical.

Maham Nalugya Tibenkana i will always be grateful to the almighty for blessing me with a soul sister who has soo much love to share with those she chooses and am very humbled to be on your team .I pray that Allah blesses you with ease and simplicity in every stage of your life.I pray that Allah blesses you with content and peace in your marriage ,with your children and everything that you hold dear. Above all may he bless our friendship to live the test of time. I celebrate you everyday of my life.Happy born month

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Happy new month to you all

Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Hard headed

Have you ever wondered why the people you have known for long stayed? I think lately am learning to ask more questions clearly it has never been in my DNA.( Although most questions and answers are with myself during meditation) I have been described as a strong person but that is just a sect within a dominant personality. Overtime(during the course of my life) I have acknowledged that people with a dominant personality have struggling relations with people although they often come out as successful in their career ( not that I am). Over time my network has grown I don’t even know how am not so good with people. Every time am meeting a new person a part of me is so sure that the most they will be is an acquaintance I have always known I will be fine with or without company. Every time I meet people and we connect on the dot and they seem to like me. My mind poses the next question “how long” .

lately I have been working towards a relationship with my youngest cousin.On getting to know her better, I kept on laughing because one thing was for sure some things run in our genes .I got my self thinking my little one ” our mothers were surely very lucky women the world has let them get away with it. But honey we live in a different world those genes have cost your big sister a number of relations will you handle?” Being me I covered all this with this laughs.” Meanwhile enjoy being young and beautiful because one thing is for sure women in my family are lovers of life.”

I have been described as talkative by many . There are people in my life that are not my closest friends nor people I interact with on a daily but every chance I get to interact with them they will have always interesting remarks that I will keep at the back of my mind and one of them is Connie .I remember the time I was convinced that celibacy was my path in life and we had one of those chats and she told “Phibie that’s okay if it’s what you want but make sure you don’t end up with people’s husbands” it kept ringing at the back of my mind it was a good one. The other remark was recently when we had those one offs so I told her Connie I have met someone her comment will always ring in my mind because sometimes even the people we interact with the least can know things about us the people we have known for ages won’t “Phibie this is exciting news kubanga you are a self reliant person so anyone coming into your life needs to be prepared for that” Connie someday you will kill me with your words of wisdom. We are all our special kind of beautiful but some people are more difficult to relate with especially the hard headed women.

I can have 10 people before me and each will describe me differently but still relate to the person that I am. (only maham can relate with the 10 people and only Eva knowing only one character of mine that maham doesn’t know quite well). Looking back today morning, it’s the beginning of the month of love and having got a new name recently beloved because in someone’s eyes I have got this network of people that love me so much(some people can mean to be so generous with their words) i would like to thank the people in my life for taking the risk of loving a woman that is so full of character and a hard headed one at that. You guys have done it so well that you have made me feel so comfortable in my own skin. I pray that someday I can be able to make you feel even half of what you make me feel. Every time am so happy, so sad ,so confused I remember that I have 45 others to share it with. Yes I have been loved by the best lovers of all times .(for the readers get your mind out of the gutter just woke up thankful for all life has thrown in my path)

I wish you a month so full of love

Kind regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba