Featured

WELCOME

This is the post excerpt.

Advertisements

I would like to welcome you all  to my blog.I guess we all can never know how far we can go unless we  decide to embrack on the journey.I would like to thank you for joining me on this journey  of sharing and empowering each other and pray that it will be fulfilling to me and you as well. August is always my peak month for very many reasons and am  greatly humbled  that as i bid farewell to  26 and wait on making 27  this month ,among all gifts 26 as left me with is the  realization of this calling.

kind regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba.

278hjjj

 

 

Adult Rebellion

When in prayer you are allowed to pray for all your desires and fantasies to come true and after that work towards them, before him (God)there is nothing too big and with the gift of life there is nothing that we cant accomplish. We all know that as much as faith teaches us to believe that all we ask from God we will surely be blessed with results but as adults  as faith continues to teach us that God sometimes doesn’t answer our prayer requests for reasons known only to him. My greatest worry in life is to live a life where I feel unworthy because of my failure to accomplish “human must haves” .

As an individual I like love having self conversations(me and my inner self) where we talk about me and the biggest questions are usually about the “human must haves” What if I never get married ,what I never have children what if and what if I never follow rules of the book of a normal African Moslem woman. After this big statement I owe you a disclaimer I would love to get married,i would love to have children BUT for the right reasons(my set of right reasons). My own set of right reasons D’NT include because I have became of age ,my parents deserve grand children,what if I die before I get married,i dnt want to grow old alone. May be some day I will get married because I will be too poor to sustain my self LOL .

A part of me kept on thinking some day my thoughts on “human haves” will change as i grower older but the more I grower older the more I became more convinced about what I want from life. I would love to get married because I have met my significant other and my mind and heart is convinced that forever together will be more fulfilling than my single fulfilled self,i want to give life to my every own, those that will take the pleasure of calling me mother but only for the sole reason of giving continuity to a love that is between me and my significant other with no hope that my Little bubbles of joy will look after me in my old age. I have no entitlement to “human must haves” clearly and also.

I have reached a certain kind of belief that many would term as being bewitched were I put all my prayer requests as well as fantasies before the almighty and request him to look through them and bless me with only those that will provide me with peace ,content as well as emotional stability. With the same faith I believe that whatever he hasn’t provided to me it is because he was sure it would dis stabilize me emotionally in a way I wouldn’t be able to recover  . The same God  who has blessed us with those beautiful things we adore is the same God that hasn’t blessed the same things with other people and not because they aren’t worthy but only for reasons best known to him

 

marriage4

In the bid not to be considered cursed women and men have looked for all possible solutions there are below the sun. Am not against finding solutions because some actually find them but I know of many that have reached their death bed while still trying to find answers. What a way to live life so full of blessing as well as so short.

Am a lover of life oh boy I love life sometimes I take time and look at my peers and think to my self if at all they would bring one tenth the effort they put into having the “human must haves” most of which isn’t in their JD(job description)as humans (but the almighty alone) and convert it into discovering themselves and living in the moment they would be living a very fulfilled life and actually that would save the world a lot of problems because apparently “research” has it that most women cheat in happy relationships because one of the things women discover from an affair outside their marriage is not the new catch but new self. This is where my big question comes “what were these women doing when they were single?”. What most women will tell you is that one tenth of their time while single they spent looking for another man.

Does  adolescent rebellion ring  a bell ? Now that we are older I will term it as “adult rebellion” Lets use rebellion rightly for the first time. Adult rebellion is when you only give space for constructive criticism NEVER dwell on destructive criticism life is too short. Distinguish what they want for you and what you want for yourself it will save you a lot. If my life isn’t perfect does it stop me from leaving life to the fullest?What is life like for those who don’t have the” human must haves” Are they lonely OR more free OR do they have more fun? Honey I will tell you I have never used lonely to describe my self even after few minutes of a heart break.

So sometime i was watching E entertainment  (stop judging i also love gossip ) and there was this challenge to  find a word that can cut across all women of different ages and circles of life that would make them feel youthful and worthy and my best was WHIP (women hot and in their Prime) .Many didn’t like prime because they felt like it represents something that will come to an end but i did.Personally i believe if you lived life like you were in your prime you would live in the moment.

At any point single,married,divorced make it memorable. My wake up call in life is the realization that I may not have the “human must have” I refuse spending tenth of my time trying to find answers if this is the life that God has blessed me with am going to leave it with a lot of energy and youthfulness and show my creator some gratitude.

I remember when I was at my previous job all my friends would agree that I used to work with a lot of energy,it is after I left that I began to use the statement “I hated my previous work”. Because while at it I knew it was what I had then and I had to make it work against the odds its now that I look back and think to my self it wasn’t the worst after all I left the job but I still have those beautiful things it built within me because I lived in the moment and allowed myself to learn all those tough lessons that I comfortably show off now. Oh God knows I hate to be unhappy and equally I don’t relate to unhappy people . Set  yourself free for once stop putting deadlines where God hasn’t and Live life like rules don’t apply to you.If i die now i want to remember that i was at peace,content with what life had to offer.

Create your own identity and have an internal arrangement of your personality and take on the job as the brand ambassador of your own brand .

Hope it isn’t too late to wish you a lovely September

Have yourself a blessed week

confidential 1

Kind regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Feewaiba @28

For the first time i think i will be turning 28 again next year because if it feels this beautiful i want it again and again and again.Those who know me well know clearly  how i dnt like the whole idea of a birthday party dnt get me wrong i have great attachment to my birth date  but  in the  spiritual direction.I believe in simplicity in its totality  in all my circles of life whether wedding / baby shower / introduction name it. if it got to be done it got to be simple.

I have always thought the being alive, healthy having my family and friends alive is a gift enough for my birthday.Calls, messages, simple luncheon with even one of my friends is what would work perfectly for me on my born day but turning 28 proved me wrong.  You will forgive me am still recovering from the shock that my family and friends put me through last evening .Having the right support team makes having a walk feel like a ride in the limo.

Having a birthday party for myself is something i have never ever dream t of  with all honesty but being  in the presence  of  all my loved ones at the same time last night felt priceless  or better still left me speechless  since i hear that everyone regards me talkative for the first time i run out of the right words to show my gratitude(i didn’t know wt her to thank them or to scold them ).  I have  often thought that tears of joy are for the weak and those who have difficult expressing themselves, but not a strong woman like me but last night it became my most used  means of communication where i ran short of words well tears were my rescue.

I thought my tears of joy where for 2040 my D day  Oh .AM sooooo humbled to have the best support team in the whole world.For sure i dnt know which friend of mine i love the most i often get confused when am about to give that title to someone  each of them is a great pillar in my life in their own way and i hold them very dear.I have always told people that  i  never ever regretted  loving anyone even those that have left my life,I repeat it again what ever form you find love please celebrate it without fear that it will come to an end because when its still counts its worth it .

My greatest fear is to let down the people that love me and i pray that Allah enables me each day of my life to be  there for my friends and family in all totality in their good and bad days.When  i told you  earlier this month  that August is my peak month i  didn’t have an idea that it would have such a climax i would have got another term for it .

I usually blow my candles(invisible ones  ) earlier with Allah and the usual birthday conversations i have with him , this birthday we were talking about the things i want him to renew a contract with this year and the years he will enable me to have here on earth.The list is endless i wont bore you with it today because my sessions are usually 2 and half hours but the key thing here is friendship was a key aspect in that conservation and i think Allah was saying to himself

i already got that  sorted just to prove a point you wont celebrate your birthday with only one but with each of them just to show you that they will always be there.

Thanks you Allah for choosing these beautiful souls for me and bless each of them for me with all those beautiful things they desire as long as they will not take them further away from you

Well earlier yesterday i didn’t want to pave way for 28 i dnt know 27 had bought so much peace in my life and it felt like i had lost my touch as a strong woman i usually regard myself as,comfort got the better of me ALL THANKS BE TO ALLAH  but thanks to my friends and family for the reassurance that only better awaits for us in the future.Thank  you Nalugya Maham ,Salma Mahad,Njuki Rashidah.Arthur Deigo,Nakabugo Vicky,Matthew Basimbe,Shamim Namwanje ,Mukasa daina, and my one and only Semakula kraiba  for being part of my 27 years because i have known all of you for more than seven years well i dnt have alot to show at 28 but i sure  got great people in my life Revenge is loading watch your backs.

To you MISS nabatanzi feewaiba  i  wish you the best at 28

confidential 1

Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Mistaken loyalty

Last week the bodies of  Ugandan soldiers who  died in Somalia were returned back  home and Ugandans as well as families of the descended were left in mourning .Some politicians went ahead to pay their tribute to the fallen soldiers on social media and a lot of other Ugandans as well went ahead to comment on their posts .A Ugandan commented on a post of a certain politician “am very happy those soldiers have returned in boxes, that’s what they get for fighting Islam” Am not into the politics  and clearly i dnt know Uganda’s interest in Somalia but still we as Moslems  dnt know the hidden agenda of the ALSHASHAB.People as well as moslems should learn to differentiate Islam and moslems.Islam as a deen is perfect but moslems are human and there for have never been and will never be perfect.When those within us misrepresent our  values we are not supposed to cheer them nor show our approval for their actions.

As much as  Islam as well as our culture often encourage us not to “unveil  the secrets  of our every own(friends as well as relatives)  and in return Allah will not make our mistakes or secrets known to many” but there is no part where it is says that we should be part of their shady plans or show our support  because the plans of God are not hidden or unclear .In my blog  Sell your Story i clearly stated that i relate with leaders ( people at large) who have a bond or high regard towards their religious belief ,cultures ,family and friends because that alone speaks volumes about someone but when it comes to anything where human beings are involved  “loyalty” is much wider than showing support.

Every time i receive feedback from people especially when its negative the first thing i ask myself is, how come my friends have never told me this? Every relation you have is supposed to better you .You only know you have a friend in anyone if you exchange some tough love moments.”I love you, i care for you but that’s not right, kind of discussions” As much as no one has a right to decide  for any adult, your friends deserve your sincerity.

There is a bit of hypocrisy for every thing you keep within yet it would better a brother or a sister and chill issues like you would actually wear a butt to increase the  flat one you currently have but matters that can actually be changed.If your friend is fighting an addiction  but all you do is  buy them more liquor because it makes them happy, honey you aren’t loyal. You are your friends mirror.”When they look at you ,they should  have a  reflection of what they are”. Of course there is that aspect on planning the most humane way to give the negative feedback putting emotions into the picture .Ya that’s a tough one  but friendship is not only meant to be easy .

You may not show your disappointment when the general public is but when the curtains have closed ,when the emotions have settled always remember to do the needful.We all need have to work towards becoming emotional mature in order to maintain relations whether with our friends, or boss across all social circles otherwise we shall label the whole world and its neighboring galaxies haters.Those things that money cant buy are what makes relations priceless if the other(friend) cant appreciate them and lets go because you are real, Congratulations  few friendships end for the right reasons, get it from me you deserve better because real friends are rare.

Helping others to leave  a lie  are things done by people soliciting for Fans and English has a term for it “cheap popularity”Being real with each other is the highest level of loyalty and the best way of building relations that  can last a lifetime.With loyalty we dnt only stand together through it all but we also uplift each other because that’s what people on the same team do.

confidential 1

I wish the very best this week

Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

 

Age isnt just a number

When I was young I used to think that I will reach a particular age  where I will have it all figured out but Up to now they are things that I cant clearly get about people so at a point I quit finding answers.

age 4

Now there is this one thing  i dnt get ,why do people guard their actual age like their  bank account balance? Apart from the president, his reason for hiding his age is  “valid”. So what if you haven’t accomplished what society expects your age group to accomplish .There is something about lying about your age, you may end up believing the lie yourself. May be the reminder of how old you are is the push you need to go after all that you haven’t accomplished yet , Your age is a reminder of  beautiful memories as well as mistakes God has enabled you witness many haven’t made it half your age ,what a way to show your gratitude(hiding your age).,

In the  beginning of this year I come up with this  saving scheme  for several things.I noticed saving   separately is the easiest and comfortable  way of having things done. So I just kept on depositing this money thinking I will inquire about my balance when the time reaches now some days i was just so lazy about the saving my imagination was i had already saved as much as i needed to, so i skipped some days . luckily someone talked me into going ahead to inquire about my balance so that I would  know how far I had gone on my targets so I went ahead  to my surprise I was quite behind my target savings. The moral lesson in this is ,your age should be a cause  for self reflection and evaluation.I know death isn’t  an ideal topic for any day but truth is that some day you will be gone “What piece of you do you want the world to remember most and then after  have you lived the part?  “Is it  your good vibes? have you been in the lives of your loved ones enough that they will mark you irreplaceable ? have been so high on life that you made yourself  believe its a blessing?Are you the best your profession would ever  ask for .What legacy do you want to leave ?

We love to make ourselves feel comfortable the assumption most people have is all the people  who have made it in life are older than them, so they keep on saying i will make it   at 25,40 name it.OK let me say so and so made it at 30 and you are 25 and clearly they are in line with your dreams and mission of life what makes you think 5 years will avail you with a lifetime to accomplish you dreams. Have your own reality check moments but dnt forget to have your own definition  of success.It may not be fame, or material related it may even not be society’s” success”

 

Every time you look up above at the people of your age group who have accomplished much more than u have ever dreamed of ,let it stimulate the right level of competition not jealousy but always remember to look down at those that are below you in your age group so that you can recollect  gratitude.

age5

 

Life is a blessings regardless of how your life turns out and acknowledging your age is one of those way to show that you consider it one .Most importantly your age has never been a limitation from anything you want to accomplish,those limitations the society tags on certain age groups they are called assumptions (work for some but not all )Sara in the bible gave birth at what age……. Never chose to be a quitter so  erase all kinds of limitation  society attaches on age.

 

This month has always been special my blog will be making one year and lucking I will be growing older too inshallah and am one person that says my age after my name. Am high on life So August am very humbled that you are finally here.

#28 years loading

confidential 1

Kind regards
Nabatanzi Feewaiba

Sell your Story

Given that am anti government I clearly relate with leaders that first identify themselves as opposition because that alone says volumes,two things in Uganda cant go hand in hand you cant claim to be supporter of this current government and also claim to have the interest of an ordinary Ugandan at heart. I relate with leaders that have a bond or high regard for their religious belief and their culture but also not think less or disregard the other people that differ from them in terms of religion or tribe. I relate with leaders that have high regard of their families and put them in the fore front of their plans .I may not have actively followed the kyadondo by elections but apart of me wished that Robert kyagulanyi ssentamu would win the elections .Yes even if I will say this slowly because am a believer,God chooses our leaders (Even the president of this country(who am I to ask why)). Some in the eyes of man are more deserving than others .

Some times standing alone may not be sure a bad deal after all. When most of the Uganda artists where enjoying their Tuboge money and worshiping the president .Thinking day and night on who to milk the president of the country’s money (ordinary Ugandan hard earned cash). Robert kyagulanyi sentamu sang for the people at the time when they needed him most with his situka song. That’s why its always important to “do you” don’t “do others” no body apart from your creator should ever make you feel bad about differentiating yourself from the crowd. My manager at the beginning of this week reminded me that every time I walk into a room full of people I should always pull my chin up like am the best thing that has ever happened to all the people in it(because on day I will be right),Saying to my self “there will never be another Nabatanzi Feewaiba ”

ladies you don’t have to feel bad if you like your men already accomplished and rich your story may be one for Melania Trump .Not all our hustle will be “start from the ghetto” kind of hustle ,or choose love over money kind of decisions never the less I cant deny that many have used the Kyagulanyis success to get back at women who don’t want to start small with their spouses as well as men who don’t have respect for their spouses .We all agree that right now we are judging the outcome but not the process .Take pride in your hustle and have faith it will pay off.

Many are saying that now every woman wants to be barbie but I will tell you no one craves success the way men do (lol and trust me its not because an feminist) I will tell you Every man wants to be Robert kyagulanyi Sentamu. But each of us has a story to tell and I believe most inspiring stories remain untold. It doesn’t matter whether you are married ,single,divorced,celibate. You don’t have to be a leader. news anchor or in the public eye. You have to live your imperfect life like you would never ask for any things more. That’s the way you sell your story. Yesterday a friend asked “Feewaiba you are still fasting sitaat (six days after ramadthan)” I smiled and said “i have one life Julius I try to live it at my best ” then he smiled and said “Ivan semwanga once that ”.That only made me think that there may not be such a thing like right or wrong decision. We all have our own version of what living life to the fullest is like so do whatever you love to do but at the back of your mind remember that YOU HAVE ONE LIFE AND YOU LIVE IT ONCE.

Blessed month ahead of you all

confidential 1

Kind regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

 

Social media madness

I cant say am an active radio listener but once in a while I listen in  intentionally but mostly unintentionally .Back in the days some radio station  started a broadcast where people called in to expose or to be helped to find out whether their  spouses were cheating. Meanwhile you give the presenter clues that may make the all scheme successful , the caller had to  stay on line waiting for the cheater to be caught, which “cheater” was their spouse ( I can only compare the situation to a scenario where a person takes an HIV test with on lookers while it may mark a serious change in your life , many on the other hand are being entertained(you cant even tell  how many  people are in listening in ) ,above all the presenter is earning ) at the end of the call you are wherever most times alone nursing  your wounds.
Now that above I used to call madness not until my best friend added me to a Facebook group called mama Tendo Foundation truthfully I would like to meet the admins of this group and find out what  their intention of forming the  group was and whether they accomplished them or in the course their intentions were diverted. On the bright side I like the fact that people share their businesses, people request for service providers available ,share their tips on parenting  and relationships among others but Mama tendo Foundation is the Facebook version of all those radio station broadcasts that leave your mind wondering ,the only thing it hasn’t done yet is sharing witch doctors/sheikhs/pastors contacts and who works best but I believe it will get there lets give it time.Below is the scenario that made me take a critical look at this page

screenshot_2017-05-31_0818-1.jpg

 

 

To those who can borrow a leaf / branch / whole tree. But women sometimes I wonder what do you smoke? Some women clearly need help but instead run to “ what’s on your mind ” Facebook and try let everybody know and give useful,useless,relevant,irrelevant form of advise .This is a group where you find self proclaimed chairpersons of side dish association, team pray for Zari among others.Am beginning to believe that  when many women converge  if its not a  cat fight and they are there supporting each other likelyhood  is they  are up to no good mama tendo foundation is a living testimony

screenshot_2017-05-31_1210-1.jpg

.
The world will gives us  advice even when we  clearly dnt need it.Just a quick one to the people who ask for advise on social media , now what do you do with all the replies you get over 100 comments I mean I still have difficult venting the advise given to me by my relatives and friends? With what I have seen on mama tendo I no longer blame the people who tell us what they eat for lunch on facebook it is clearly the least  a normal human being can share

Men come and see what your women/lovers/ sidechicks/baby mamas /wives/ girlfriends do with their free time on mama tendo foundation .Trust me you wont feel left out there are some special men that are active participants  on mama tendo .

screenshot_2017-05-31_1233_1-1.jpg

People who have deleted your Facebook accounts whats the process I need to start on mine social media madness is becoming overwhelming

confidential 1

I wish you a blessed month of Rahma

Kind Regards

Nabatanzi Feewaiba

 

Guest Blogger: kindness with caution

The guest blogger today is one of my closet  friends so am  truly humbled to have her here .

In the effort to nourish my soul and cultivate happiness from within, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, reading, and observation. I’m also slowly changing both my approach and my attitude towards my daily life. For someone who patience and tolerance for excuses doesn’t come naturally, it has been a huge challenge, but a very worthwhile one because I can feel the positive change in the way I live and love and I can honestly say am more at peace and fulfilled since I started this journey to wholehearted living. The tales I share in this piece will cover the challenges and trials, but also the successes and benefits as I navigate my journey.
This past weekend, I was traveling from the city back to my work town using public transport. Now, usually before this trip, I purposely pack light keeping in mind that I usually have to carry all my bags on my lap to avoid placing them on the dirty taxi floor. Then, I strategically place my changed money into the side pocket of my purse to allow for easy access incase I spot some good ripe gonja or fresh mangoes when the vendors come to the window. Then I place my taxi fare right next to my snack money, leaving just enough space for my phone (it has to be inside the bag, or it will fall from my lap when I get up to let a passenger in the back seat out, and that wasn’t a good experience the first time; you know with the earphone wire wound around my neck; me struggling not to die from earphone wire strangling, and at the same time trying not to drop the 2 bags on the dirty floor; never again!! Now, I place my phone in the side bag, and when the taxi is coming to a stop, I just gently take off the earphones, and tuck them next to the phone; making a smooth transition. In the taxi, once I ensure that my phone and snack money are safely placed, I secure a comfortable sitting position to allow window snack purchase, and most importantly, to avoid cramping; it’s usually a two hour drive with multiple stops to drop off and pick up the occasional halfway travel passenger.

 
On this particular travel day last weekend, I had done all my routine checks and was ready for the road when the conductor said, “Nyabo ono omwana k’atuule awo” (Mme let this kid sit next to you). Normally, I have a soft spot for helping and with my new found mantra of ‘kill them with kindness”, my default is to be kind and helpful in every way I can. But in this particular incident, my seat was broken and crooked (I was sitting at a 60 degree angle, so my comfort was already compromised and I was assured of a butt cramp. Also, the reason he gave for this kid sitting with me was that the traffic police would fine the driver for overloading if the kid sits with his mom, his brother, 2 other passengers and the conductor in the first raw seat; so the solution is to fix him next to me.

 
I know you must be thinking the descent think to do is to let the kid sit with me, and have a peaceful, traffic-fine-free trip, and you are right (if you are sitting comfortably in a 180-degree seat in the front). However, the first instinct of my comfort-loving, peaceful self instinct was to say a plain NO, but in the name of the kindness, I explained that I was already carrying 2 bags on my lap, and my seat was broken, so having the kid sit with me would be very uncomfortable, AND, I offered to switch seats with anyone who was willing to take my seat and rearrange to make this trip possible. To which the conductor replied, “you are priotizing a bag over a child?” Thankfully, a lady in the back, offered to take the kid. But not without shaming me with the famous ‘toli mukazi, toli muzadde?’ (aren’t you a woman, aren’t u a mother?). And, she continued to tell her neighbors the tale of women like me who have no love for kids, and shouldn’t even have kids if we don’t already have one because we don’t deserve it.

 
Needless to say, I was getting angry at this point, and thinking F*** kindness, I should give this lady a piece of my unkind mind with a few choices of unkind words, but, thanks to my new default of ‘first assessing the situation, and understanding where the person is coming from before I lose it’, I contained myself, turned on my playlist (coincidentally , the first song to play was a gospel song, perhaps deliberated by a higher power to save my soul in that moment), and started my journey.
This all got me thinking about guilt trips, and how we often shame others and guilt them into doing what we want. Be it in the name of social expectation, religious expectation, or plain old selfishness, it’s wrong, and can be soul crashing especially for people that don’t have the backbone to say NO. From guilting and manipulating young adults into giving all their hard-earned monthly pay to elders and relatives because they raised them, to people asking others to cover up their crimes and injustices in the name of protecting someone who knew you since you were a child, to parents marrying off young girls to old rich men because the rich old man will take care of her parents and young siblings, to shaming women into doing what you want because there’s a kid involved and they are ‘mothers’. When the lady came to the taxi with 2 kids, and a big bag and the conductor gave her the 1st raw seat, did he temporarily lose his mind and forget about the other 2 passengers for that seat and the traffic officers? Why is it suddenly my problem that this kid has nowhere to sit? This is just one of the many guilt trip experiences I’ve had in my adult life, but I have say without the self confidence and the balls to say no, this kind of manipulation can lead one down a life of one-sided sacrifices that can pull you down leaving you with resentment and a sense of insecurity and need to please everyone but yourself; which cannot be good for your soul and personal growth.

GUEST BLOGGER :Rashidah Njuki