Very unintentionally life has had me visit the hospital on a daily in the past two weeks.Whenever a woman walked into the labor ward with her spouse that really hit deep for me it didn’t matter how poor they looked that gesture just spoke volumes of the kind of
people relationship they had. With 5% presence of the fathers to be my questions begin .What in the world (apart from being absent in the country) would keep you from being part of the moment when your significant other is being ushered into this world regardless of the relationship you have with the mother of your unborn child?
“Women always look at childbirth as a way of securing their places in their baby daddies lives as well as a way to have men dance to their tone or blind them into lifetime commitment” my mother explains with you aren’t seen nothing yet tone. Personally I don’t believe in victims that don’t take responsibility of their part in a bad story. Regardless of who tricked who in what,and all the thousand things one can do regardless of the gender to prevent the unwanted. When the impossible becomes our reality ,leveling up becomes an obligation.
After this experience i will remember to slap my colleagues at work who sing hallelujah when they receive the good news . The men that sit at office waiting to receive a call from the hospital informing them that the long wait has come to an end “congratulation its a boy ” how can you have the audacity to order for lunch, swing in your office sit as your baby mama is somewhere fighting for her life and the life of your child. Which kind of
man human being has the courage to sip a beer as their baby mama stands at the door of the hospital begging for 140k to undergo a c-section after 9 months. Apart of me saw myself in every woman that walked into the labor ward and i will assure you i didn’t walkout from that environment the same person that walked in with high spirits.
Finding women that had 3 children and in hospital expecting a fourth one with men that showed the same behavior pattern right from the first child , Why do women do this to themselves ,most importantly compromising the welfare of their unborn children, who teaches women to prefer to live in suffering ? Yet we come out to judge women who go ahead to shop for sperms and make a decision to singlehandedly raise their children right from the beginning i find this a more believable story than attaching a body to a sperm donor and eventually have to cough every time am trying to explain to my child about their father’s behavior because even me as a mother am still in disbelieve of an existence of such a human
Witnessing some women losing their lives and coming out of the hospital without their children because they lost them during the struggle of childbirth meanwhile with zero appearance of their spouses or making appearances after they have been informed that they have to take their children to be buried left me helpless and thankful that i didn’t have choose a career that would lower my spirits every day.
“Do what ever it takes to make sure you secure yourself a man” the world says and “then what ” I usually ask myself . Spend the rest of my life dragging an adult to be part of my life as well as the life of my children unless am privileged enough to have 48 hours a day. Why does the world rush people through life as through what really mattered was following the list without paying much attention to whether you found fulfillment in doing and being certain things . Most of what we have now, are married people that have open relationships outside their marriages making it seem like marriage was something they pursued to attain society validation or marriage is insurance that an individual falls back to when need arises.
During one of my visits I sat near a couple that had this child that seemed to have a height disability although at the point in time their hospital visit had much to do with the physical health of their child. I watched very closely as the child kept on moving with a lot of discomfort on the father’s lap but the love the couple showered their child , seemed much more helpful than the medication it was receiving because every time the father attempted to stand up ,the child’s cry would sound louder than before . I wouldn’t help but notice the rings on their finger showing that they were married “I think this is what I have always imagined marriage to be about ” I remember thinking to myself but not a partner that vanishes emotionally and only appears for public display”as long as he comes back home at the end of the day” i usually cough after this statement becomes it usually leaves me chocking with a paragraph of words.
What makes it okay to just come back home at the end of the day, for him to pound you seriously through out the night and the world will not hold you hostage for not being “sexually starved”. There has been this thing that has kept me wondering for some time now that i had to run to my catch phrase “wama google” what’s the worst that can happen when someone stops having sex and has anyone ever died from sex starvation. The only valid answer i found from the 1000 answers google returned was some women are more likely to have more painful cramps because for this one i raise two hands because i can relate would be an understatement. In other news death never appeared anywhere in the drop down lists that surfaced, most of the answers i received didn’t pass my validation. So sister the phrase that sex makes people glow is accompanied by peace content and fulfillment dnt make your pussy use you. If you fail to control your pussy take charge and take precautions reduce on the consequences of sex,guard your womb trust me God will understand.
Some human wolves will be patient enough to tick all the boxes to unseal the locks of your womb but darling at-least your soul will have felt guarded and you will comfortably let God do the rest . For whatever consequences that will take place there after you will take head on and you will find it easy to have a truthful conservation with yourself knowing you did whatever there was but fate caught up with you.The first point of validation i seek comes from within because usually when i mess up the first slap comes straight from my mind so for whatever decision, i ensure we are good(body,soul,heart and mind)so that when we sink we can bounce back like the team we are.
Don’t let the world talk you into anything you openly see that will cause you continuous pain, no one will loose sleep when you child is in bad health and you are soliciting for funds. Pain isn’t infectious that it will be transferred to the people that love and care for you. Even when my best friend was right there sited near me having labor pains I managed to sip my yogurt regardless of the fact that she topped my prayer list throughout her 9 months of pregnancy but at that point in time the pain was solely for her. Those relatives that are making you stay in a violent relationship they will be the ones narrating the stories of the violent history of your relationship on your burial.
So darling just dare to choose good things for yourself and never shy about it. If you want a good man say it and MEAN it. Humans are imperfect thats our nature sometimes we fail at loving our spouses right but there is a percentage to that if it hits 60% it a red flag if it’s 80% you need help sister ,at this point allow me to ask a question that my mother asks when i use the phrase “she needs help/he needs help” “what kind of medicine teaches a man / women that some people aren’t good for them ?” Prayer,Prayer,Prayer,Prayer self meditation,self love,consult someone your trust or a professional.Dnt be afraid to walk alone because sometimes we have to get rid of things that aren’t good for us ASAP and embark on rebuilding a team that will redefine love and belonging very differently and very profoundly for us .
Lovely day ahead of you